The longest distance in Paris is between the Metro stop Charles de Gaulle and metro stop Porte de Maillotte. When you've got to get up early to travel, what's the first thing you do? You go out the night before. This is always a great idea because it ensures that you'll hit the snooze button at 8:30 am and then not really remember hitting it. This is great because it leads to less time. And while packing your bag and leaving for the airport might seem like the logical thing to do, what's even more pressing is transferring some stories you need to edit onto your eReader. This is really fast because all you have to do is reformat 7 documents and then sync them to your reader. Piece of cake. Not having eaten breakfast yet, or emptied the garbage, you quickly down the watermelon, and then get the back ready to take out. You now have less than an hour. No problem. It's a twenty minute trip, thirty, tops. Until you reach Charles de Gaulle metro stop and start seeing signs for the M1. Ha! The M1. I'd like to talk to one of the people at the Paris Metro! This is because while the subway used to be just one stop between the two, it's now allegedly replaced by a bus during construction. And I say allegedly because the supposed M1 bus is a phantom.
So while I thought I had a half an hour to make a single metro stop, I had less than 10 minutes. And that includes getting to the ticket counter and finding the bus. Take away the half mile of subterranean tunnels guiding me to the mysterious Exit 6, and the 1 mile ass-busting, side-splitting run, and you have the real distance. Don't forget to put in a quick stop at the ATM just in case the window didn't take cash. I finally arrived with 10 minutes to spare. I was sweaty and nearly out of breath. But I made it! Now off to Ireland!